


Cigarettes

by Jaaxny



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, TW: cigarettes, tw: smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 07:12:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4338896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaaxny/pseuds/Jaaxny





	Cigarettes

Elissa Shepard had a bad habit of smoking cigarettes whenever she was stressed out. The first time the crew of the Normandy saw her smoking was shortly after Ashley Williams had been killed on Virmire. Kaidan and Joker found her in the cargo bay, staring at the floor while the cigarette burned to ashes in her hand.

The second time was shortly after Cerberus revived her from the dead. Miranda had some important documents she absolutely needed to show Shepard. Joker stopped her before she could interrupt the Commander, shaking his head.

The third time was after the crew had left Horizon. Meeting Kaidan had rubbed Shepard’s emotions raw, and arguing with the Illusive Man hadn’t helped any. Garrus found her sitting inside the Kodiak and sat with her, offering silent companionship.

The fourth time was on the way to the Omega 4 Relay. Shepard could feel death looming ahead and burned a cigarette for every member of the Normandy that may or may not return from this blasted war.

The fifth time was after leaving Mars. Liara found Shepard sitting on the floor of her cabin, back to her bed. She gave her friend a tight hug, ignoring the smell of burning ashes.

Shepard didn’t have a chance to burn a cigarette and mourn for Mordin and Thane. Instead, Kaidan held her as she cried for those she had failed to save. The final confrontation with the Reapers hovered just on the horizon and Shepard knew she couldn’t burn enough for all the lives that were about to be lost.

The last time was before she activated the Crucible. Somehow, the pack she always carried with her, as well as her lighter, had managed to survive this far. She lit one with a shaking hand and placed it between her lips. She took a long drag and coughed. She had never had the nerve to actually smoke, simply taking comfort in the ash falling to the floor as it burned. Grinning, cigarette clenched between her teeth, she plunged forward towards the fate of the galaxy.

* * *

 

Joker later found Kaidan down in the cargo bay, sitting in Shepard’s favorite spot. He held a cigarette loosely between his fingers, watching it burn. Joker sat down besides him, holding his hand out. Kaidan smiled slightly and handed him a cigarette and lit it. They both stayed there, watching them burn until there was nothing left.


End file.
